Trapped in your own Mind: Nightmares as gaping Wounds of my Soul
I recently had a Series of weird and, sometimes, fucked up dreams. Dreams which have questioned, for a long time now, my personal sanity and well-being. They make me feel like they have crawled up from the deepest and darkest corners of my soul.
I don't want to keep them for myself, so I have decided to share these dark recessions of my mind with you.
The Number of dreams in question is four. Although I had more than four weird dreams, these are the only ones I can recall with certainty.
Join me on a quick tour through the Fun-house of my spirit and witness all the caricatures of life you have wished to never see.
1. My first dream put me into the role of an incompetent architect. It was thus a first person dream. Most of my dreams are in first person, putting me up-close to the deranged and disfigured creatures concocted by my brain.
Anyway, as an architect I was called upon by the mayor of a city to construct a homeless shelter. The dream did not specify that it was for homeless people, but the state of the humans wanting to inhabit the construction led me to this conclusion myself.
I never have any kind of control in any of my dreams. This lack of control is frightening to me, as I hate not being able decide on my actions.
My dream-self put forth a plan to build the shelter partly on water. My sub-conscious even went into detail about how that thing is supposed to look. The design consisted of 2 huge domes connected by 2 hallways. One hallway connected the first dome to the outside and the 2nd hallway connected the first dome to the 2nd. The first hallway and dome were on land, while the second dome floated, with the help of rings full of air, on water. In my dream it looked like a big sea the dome floated on.
The domes were furnished with loads of beds. The rest of the furniture was a random assortment of, what seemed to be, antiquated chairs, dressers and tables, aligned in random positions and places all throughout the dome. It felt like a junkyard to me.
Anyway, the “thing” was built and filled with all the homeless it could carry, which, as it turned out, was not a lot, because shortly after around 400 people were let in, the second dome started to sink into the water, trapping everyone within it.
Realizing this failed design was my fault, the dream switched from a documentary about San Francisco to a superhero-movie, as I suddenly garnered Superman like powers and started saving the unfortunate drowning souls.
This is where my first dream ended.
2. My second dream was shorter, but still weird nonetheless. I had been invited to North Korea by someone I didn't know.
Now, since I don't know a lot about North Korea, outside of its awful dictator, my dream made North Korea look like Detroit, mixed with some Japanese countryside. It was odd to say the least.
I also had a tour-guide who pushed me to visit the most terrifying places in North Korea and get me into trouble as much she could. This is why this dream consisted mostly of me getting heckled by North Korean guards who questioned me about my nationality, ethnicity and what I wanted to do in North Korea. After a while pleading with the guards, they let me go, probably realizing I am a huge wuss and not worth their time. This was also the point were I told my guide to fuck off. And so I left North Korea for Greece. Which is a place I actually want to visit in real life too.
End of Dream Number 2.
3. Dream Number three was flat-out a horror dream. It started with me noticing a woman running towards me on a bridge at night deep in some forest. Why was I in that forest? I don't know.
The woman screamed at me to help her, but as she got closer, I noticed her voodoo-doll like look. She was literally a life-sized living voodoo-doll.
But what was more scary than her voodoo appearance, was the monster following her. If I were to draw a comparison, I would say it looked like the Boomer from Left 4 Dead, with a crossbow instead of a left hand. Lets call him Boomy for simplicity sake.
Being Miss Nice-Gal, I lifted the Voodoo-Woman up on my back and ran away with her. While running through the forest, dodging black arrows shot by Boomy, she explained to me that she had been cursed and that the voodoo-doll was not her real body and her soul was trapped in it.
After a while running (this dream gave me way more stamina than I actually have in reality) we entered a school.
Playing Tag turned into a game of hide and seek. Boomy also changed its appearance. No longer did it look like a zombie from Left 4 Dead, but like a strange metallic twisted machine. Its legs were gone and replaced by continuous tracks, like on a tank. Its upper body morphed into a bare chested version of Jason Vorhees, with metal chains covering his body and a giant axe for a left arm.
The chase continued through the many classrooms and hallways of the school. Along the way I found grenades, which I threw at Boomy, but with no avail.
The whole thing ended, wen I was cornered in a restroom. Thankfully my dream did not show me getting viciously murdered and ended there.
I am going to tell you my fourth dream later, as it was indeed the most vile of my nightmares I had endured.
Why can I not just have nice dreams, or at least neutral ones? Dreaming about Running in place or loosing my teeth is preferable to all of this.