Yayo-not-as-Short: A Discovery of inconvenient Proportions

Chapter 1: Grave digging for Dummies

If one were to decipher those cryptic hieroglyphs, destruction and madness would come over the world. 

“That, or a giant pepperoni Pizza devours Manhattan,” thought Yayo, as she pondered the old scrolls she had found in the tomb of Yolo Ra – an ancient Pharaoh of the 3rd Dynasty.

According to Professor Bom Holm of the University of Heidelberg at least. 

The Professor had been nagging her ever since they started their expedition to the grave in the Valley of the Kings two days ago. Going on and on about ruins and ludicrous tales of yore.

Not that it mattered to little old Yayo. All she was looking forward to, was her payment for going on this mission. It was written in the Newspaper just two weeks ago – an ad for an assistant for a scientific expedition. Assistant meant “carrying crap” and listening to endless monologues. But, oh well... a job is a job; and yayo really wanted to buy that new Fish van. Selling the fish she had catched to the masses was one of her dreams.

Standing in the tomb eyeing some scriptures, the Professor ran from one corner to the next like a headless chicken on LSD.

“These fantastic ruins hold many secrets,” the Professor's accent broke through,” secrets which could change the course of history for us.”

"Very likely,” mumbled Yayo sarcastically. Bon Holm did not hear her, for he was too focused on the pictures on the wall.

Poking around in a room only dimly lit by three flashlights, mounted to the hats of the three-men strong crew. Besides Yayo and the Professor, there was an Egyptian Guide, dressed in the most stereotypical of desert clothing.

“Ha, there it is,” Prof. Holm exclaimed loudly. He had found, what appeared to be, a pressure plate in the southern wall of the tomb. Without hesitation the Professor pushed down on it.

The noise was ear-numbing. In front of everyone's eyes a giant hole opened up sideways in the floor. Out from this crevice rose slowly a sarcophagus. It was a heavy looking stone cube, massive in size.

Yayo was pleasantly surprised by this turn of events. “Finally something exciting is happening,” she thought while running over to the Professor, who was still standing in awe from the emerged structure.

The Guide on the other hand was less thrilled and scared shitless. 

As the stone-coffin reached its maximum point of elevation, an uncomfortable silence spread through the halls and tunnels.

After around 5 minutes, Yayo ripped open the silence by announcing: “Wow, damn... a stone cube! I have never seen one of those before.”

The sarcasm was lost on the Professor, who responded in a shaky, but titillated voice: “Yes, this discovery will be written about in history books.”

“Oh, yes,” our orange-haired protagonist shot back in her current sarcastic tone,” history will remember the say the biggest Yahtzee dice has been found.”

Bom Holm was too happy to pay any notice to the mockery of the lesser intelligent. They just could not grasp the symbolism of such a find.

“Lets open it,” the Professor stepped towards the square rock, only to be halted in his tracks by the Guide. 

“No!” shouted the pious Egyptian,” don't disturb the dead. It'll only cause harm and destruction.”

“And sweaty palms from the looks of it,” added Yayo while locating the crowbar they had brought with them.

“Ah, there it is,” uttered the Professor in delight,” let us crack open this coffin. For Science!”

“Wuhuu,” cheered Yayo,” I am going to be rich!”

Although terrified by the prospects of opening the stone grave, the Guide did not further intervene or stop the dynamic duo. Propably due to the fact that he was being paid to assist as well, and at the end of the day, money beats any God.

“1...2...3...Go!” hollered the trio in unison as they jimmied open the lid with the crowbar.

After 5 attempts it gave away slowly and let itself get pushed to the side.

With a loud bam, it fell to the floor and revealed the insides...

To be continued...