Yayo Short 14: FatCon 2019
Heart Attack for Beginners
“I want the Burgers Mommy!” A fat Kid of around 2000 pounds was urging his mother to buy him his tenth burger of the day.
Yayo likes visiting her local McDonalds every early Morning. Not for the soggy Breakfast Doughnut, but for the collection of the lowest of the lowest scum of the town. Fat Men with neckbeards, fat women with smelly arm pits, fat kids with dirty mouths and zombie-like drunkards, who are also fat.
In Short: The 2019 Fat-Con looks very promising.
Let us not forget the real reason Yayo was at McDonald’s today. The new Ultra Mac has been released a couple of days ago and she wanted to get herself one - before it was old out. As our orange-haired dwarf stood in Line, her eyes wandered across the counter.
So many cashiers with no Life left in them. One can see it in their eyes; just one burger sold too many to loud-mouthed impolite fat-asses, and you’ll break.
The Ultra Mac is a big monster of a sandwich. Bun on top of meat on top of more meat on top of cheese on top of salad with tomatoes and pickles on top of meat on top of sauce on top of bun. Truly, you’ll not just pay money for this burger, but also with your Life. Heart Attacks galore.
This reminded Yayo of the release of the Super Beef ‘n Cheese just two months ago. Dead Bodies everywhere. Mountains of fat exploded and covered the streets with grease and slippery sweat. It took 3 weeks to clean up that mess.
Yayo had been part of the clean-up crew back then. With a shovel and bucket she collected over 2 tons of grease and fat, which she now stores in her basement. One can never know, when you need some fat.
He who controls the fat, controls the Universe - The fat must flow.
There was now only one person left in the line before Yayo. A 40-year-old man with not a single hair left, wearing thick round glasses, a green adidas tracking outfit and white sports shoes. He would have looked like an elderly athlete, if he had not been so morbidly obese. It wasn’t just his sheer Titanic-like size that made eyes turn into the other direction, but also his smell was abhorrent. As if he had eaten several rotten eggs and bathed in old moldy and molten cheese.
There is not much in this world that scares Yayo, but this...Thing...shook her to the very core of her existence. “How can someone just let himself go like that?” wondered Yayo, as she sprayed air-freshener around her.
This guy's size was complimented by his slow speed.
Our little protagonist had been standing there for 30 minutes before she decided that enough is enough. With a quick swipe she pulled out a rather big needle out of her magic pants. She then proceeded to stick the needle in one of the man’s ass cheeks.
With a loud pop, the ass exploded and several liters of fat poured out of the Fatman.
Before everyone's eyes the man deflated like a balloon, until there was only a caved-in piece of leathery skin left.
"Now I have seen everything." thought Yayo as she stepped in front of the counter.
With a huge grin on her face she began formulating her order:
"I’ll have two number 9s, a number 9 large..."