Yayo Short 7: Season of Ice
"This hasn't been such a good idea after all." thought Yayo, as she was standing, Jittering, in the middle of nowhere.
In the middle of a large Ice desert to be exact. Surrounded by miles long stretches of ice and snow. The temperature was so low, Yayo's Ice cream froze in its waffle. A snow storm raged overhead and Yayo was forced to hide in a small cave.
While waiting for the storm to pass and freezing her butt off along the way, she recalled the event that brought her into this, rather unfortunate, position of desolation.
"Stupid crap," she muttered," who would have thought, that finding pieces of a mirror in the middle of a snowy desert could be so difficult."
Yayo was walking up and down in the cave, desperately trying to keep herself warm.
"I asked her, why don't you just buy a new one. It is just a stupid mirror after all." she continued talking to herself. Yayo was very aggravated. "Who lives in a giant castle in the middle of nowhere anyway? With no central heating I might add!"
Yayo threw her Ice Cream at the cave wall, where it exploded into several tiny pieces.
"This is a magic mirror Yayo," she imitated a clicheed snobbish sounding voice," with it I can see everything I own."
Yayo did not see a purpose for such a mirror in the age of internet and surveillance. "This sounds like something from a fairy Tale," Yayo noted and kicked a rock to the side," magic my ass. If a mirror can not tell me if I am the most vain person in all the land, I am not interested."
After Yayo found she had complained enough, she sat down again and pulled a piece of crumpled-up fabric out of her pocket. She slightly opened it, to reveal several shards of, what appeared to be, glass. She poured them all out on to the rough cave floor and began counting.
"1...2...3...4...dum...dum...24." counted Yayo. She individually held up each piece when she counted it and viewed it through a magnifying glass that I, the narrator, just gave Yayo. "24 pieces," Yayo repeated," only 635 to go." It took Yayo a while to grasp the magnitude of what she just said.
"635!" Yayo screamed in shock. "This Ice Queen can shove her mirror where the sun does not shine! Oh, I forgot. The sun does not shine here anyway! Dark clouds, snow and ice everywhere. Where am I? Greenland?" Yayo picked all the shards back up.
Yayo had enough of looking for needles in haystacks and decided to travel back to the castle. Sure, it was Yayo who broke the mirror by sledding head first into it, but it should not be her task to pick them all up again. There exist services for that. Like, for example, Carl's Magic Mirror 24 Hour repair service, with their catchy slogan 'IF WE CAN'T FIX YOUR MIRROR, IT MIGHT NOT EVEN BE REAL'.
The way through the snow was a huge hassle for Yayo. Since she was slightly shorter than Master Yoda, Yayo completely disappeared in the amount of snow. Adding insult to injury, Yayo forgot her tennis racket sandals that would be very helpful in her current circumstance. As it stands, she had to dig through the snow like a mole, using an old rusty children shovel, which was just slightly better than licking the snow until it melts away.
At least Yayo wasn't at risk of getting lost. The Castle, though made of ice, was so pompous and fancy, even King Louis the sixteenth would call it overkill.
"I freaking dislike monarchs," thought Yayo while slowly breaking a sweat digging through the thick layers of snow," maybe I'll use this shitty little shovel to bonk that posh pretentious ass over the head...if there is a ladder near by I can use to reach her oversized snow-globe." Thinking about her small size made Yayo rather sheepish. She also knew she would never follow any of her threats up with actions. Not really because she can't, but rather because she is too lazy.
Yayo had accomplished much greater feats during her first year after she woke up. She once built a satellite out of a rubber string and a stick. Admittedly, it does not do a whole lot, but Yayo sent it to NASA anyway. Yayo has yet to receive a reply.
Shovelling snow let Yayo's mind wander. "I wish all that snow was cooked chicken," she thought," I would eat that up like cake on Christmas morning." Yayo is a huge fan of chicken, especially whole chickens in a can, something most people would find repugnant. She is odd like that. She also likes to eat the crust of a pizza first and drinks orange juice with milk.
Thinking about food made Yayo hungry; and snow isn't well known for its nutritious attributes. All she had in her pockets was an old chocolate bar that had seen two world wars and an onion ring she found under a sofa in the community area of her local prison. Both only for emergencies. Thankfully, this was not such an emergency. The onion ring could kill a cat.
All that thinking made Yayo forget the hardships of her shovelling task and she reached, after 5 hours of digging through snow, the castle.
The gate was open.
Yayo, wet and cold from the snow, was just about to invite herself back in, when suddenly the entire castle collapsed into itself, leaving nothing but ruins.
The whole process was so quick, Yayo, at first, did not realise what just happened. She just stood there, with a detached doorknob in her hand, calculating in her head the occurrence she just witnessed.
"WHAT THE FUCK!?" Yayo shouted angrily, throwing the door knob away. "I walked all this way to collect shitty glass shards for you, and you just disappear? Screw you, Lady!"
Nowhere to go now, Yayo just dropped herself on to her ass. "Great...Fantastic," she remarked sarcastically while throwing her arms up into the air," what am I supposed to do now?"
Yayo was now definitely lost. There was only one thing she could do now; she did not like doing it, but extreme situations like this call for extreme measures.
With trembling hands she reached for her old Nokia mobile phone, great for any environment, and typed in the number of the only person that could help her now.
To be continued...