I Stand with Milo (pt1)
This is going to be a multi-part blog posted to all my social networks, because no matter how much it hurts to share, it is information that needs to be shared amidst the attacks on Milo. I stand with Milo, because I too have survived sexual abuse through grasping tightly to my personal agency. These will eventually be combined into a script for a video on my channel... but it'll take more than one sitting to be able to accomplish that.
I just hit 500 subscribers today, loves; I'm ecstatic over that fact but at the same time, I don't think I can make a joyful video, with the events surrounding Milo Yiannopoulos across the last couple days. Unfortunately, his story and the attacks everyone is leveling against him reminds me too much of my own life and experiences, and as such... I'm going to be letting you all know about my own experiences with sexual assault, as well as my experiences in being villainized for the mental disorders and coping mechanisms I have to deal with my own refusal of victimhood.
None of this will be easy for me to speak about, so forgive the lower-quality nature of this video.
THE HOW
The first person to find me sexually appealing as a child was my mother's second husband, Nazaret. He liked my sister, his daughter by blood, much more attractive than me, but I would often put myself between him and my sister and fight until he gave up his original intents and either fucked or fought me. This lasted until I was 14, and was arrested for 5 counts of felony Assault with a Deadly Weapon, for trying to kill him. My family abandoned me entirely to a military school, the one mentioned in previous videos, at which point I was passed from one psychotic kiddy-diddler onto another. In the military school, I had no family, no one who cared for my well-being, and being the androgynous yet still femininely-attractive young girl I was, I was granted special privileges over the other imprisoned children; freedoms the other kids would never experience such as going on drives to McDonalds, special work details, and being taken out of training and drill, regularly, to do "work" for Brother Fountain.
In my adolescence, I observed violence on a daily basis; and not merely slaps, but shattering high-balls over my mother's head, throwing me down stairs, and even breaking my sister's leg. Fights between my mother and her second husband were a daily thing, and were worsened by the glasses of whiskey and arak I would bring to him at his request. Just like it was at home, though, it was also in the military school -- however, without the hypocritical opinion of violence I experienced at home. I was put into boxing rings with boys three, four years older than me and I was forced to learn to fight, because I fought so viciously and violently with my mother's second husband. I was forced to fight outside my weight-class, most often fighting people twice my weight as I only weighed 60-80lbs through my teen years. They never had me fight girls; to them, I was as close to a "guy" as a young girl could be, and I was often shamed for my strength and agility, and how unfeminine it was -- especially during sex.
Unable to cope with the civilian world after the three years of boot camp I had been given at that military school, I took the California High-School Equivalency Exam and joined the Navy with an ASVAB score of 98.
It was during this time that I was very much showing symptoms of gender dysphoria and the beginnings of true post-traumatic stress disorder. I lived as as much of a guy as I could in my Navy Whites, and when time came to be deployed to the sandbox I was detached with Marines as a corpsman. This was the first time I ever felt truly comfortable, because I was surrounded by sociopaths. After catching a bullet in Afghanistan and being air-lifted to the nearest hospital, I returned home a shaken person, alone, and completely unable to cope with the realities of civilian life.
Part two will cover my adult life, and just how much these experiences mixed with the pre-SJW habits and opinions of the left drove me further into insanity. I have to take a break now. Luv luv.