A Light In The Attic Has Gone On.

I just spent a large part of my Sunday afternoon at a meeting. It was like an infamous Tupperware Party of old, but for personal development. I went for a friend and neighbour, but honestly? I want my 4.5 hours back. 

This gathering was put on by The Landmark Forum. Also known as Landmark Worldwide. It started out pleasant enough. They asked us to brainstorm a bunch of areas of life. We came up with work, finance, health, spirituality, relationships, hobbies/entertainment, mental/emotional self, creativeness, etc. 

From there, we were asked to separate the lot into things that were going good, and other things that weren't going so good. Then, choose one that we wanted to work on in that meeting. 

So far so normal, right?

The process then led to looking at how your future would look if you kept the status quo of what you were doing right then. You know, bad trying to make you realise that things need to change. 

I apparently cocked this up because I was too analytical and clinical. I choose to work specifically on getting the scar tissue out of my back so I could regain mobility. I was supposed to be more vague and get all emotional about it. You know, talk about how my pain is stopping me from living my best life etc. I was not supposed to define an action plan right then. Or... possibly ever while in that meeting. 

From there, we were supposed to identify what was missing in the "possible future" if we changed nothing. 

Again, I cocked it up because I didn't get stay vague. I told them, "Knowledge. I need to know what, exactly, is the process the body undergoes to heal ripped up muscles so I can make a plan of action that will not further damage my body." SIGH I was supposed to talk about emotions, again, and say some trite shit like I was missing courage to try a new exercise programme. They kept goading me that direction, but alas, I know me. What I needed was legit knowledge. (I had also gotten that the day before by talking with my team of therapist, surgeon, and regular doctor.) 

After this stage of identifying what's missing, you're supposed to imagine a better world where suddenly you've invented a new possibility out of your new found knowledge of something you supposedly didn't know before.

No, you're NOT supposed to have had created a plan of action, any strategy, or anything like that. You're supposed to just say, "Ah, this was missing, and now that I know that, life is gonna be just great!" 

The last step is to declare your possibility to the group. "The possibility that I'm inventing for myself and my life is the possibility of being <fill in blank with feel good phrase>!!!"

At the end, they pitched three, 11-hour days + a 5 hour weekday evening full of things just like this where they promise you'll uncover a bunch of stuff you never realised were holding you back. Stuff like the anxieties you built up as a youth, animosity towards the douchebags of the world, and your own short comings. 

All for the low price of $650 + the price of travel, lodgings, food, and anything else you might need while you're there. 

Look! Group therapy!

Now, it might just be me, but $650 is pretty cheap for the price of a group psychological thing going on. You can tap into the things around you that make you the way you are and start to understand yourself, the people around you, and all that happy shit. 

But, I'm an introvert. I spend a lot of time watching, analysing, and introspecting. I'm perfectly aware of how things work, the context of things, and how fucked up things could be if I didn't get off my ass and change a few things. I even have a fairly long list of things that need attention. /sarcasm ─ that list is really long. 

I'm also a doer. I don't need a weekend of psychobabble designed to awaken you to what could be with very little in the way of an action plan. 

And how do I know it's like this? They gave us a schedule, which they cheerfully call a syllabus. 

Day 1 involves: 
     ─ having you realise that you see the world in a particular way
     ─ having you realise that things are in context of other things
     ─ having you break that vicious cycle of mindless thinking
     ─ having you note any unproductive thinking or way of acting
Day 2 involves:
     ─ having you acknowledge that change is possible
     ─ having you look at how the past makes you as you are, and then trying to get you to disassociate with your past ─ or at least the things that hold you back.
     ─ having you distinguish a new reality full of possibilities
     ─ having you talk about anxieties
     ─ talk about how identities get established (really, all about talking about your childhood and past experiences)
Day 3 involves:
     ─ having you note how the past is invading your present and impacting your future
     ─ having you talk about transformation and how it's a whole lifestyle change
     ─ having you understand negative talk and how to talk to yourself (also, seems like a bit of brainwashing going on here)
     ─ having you understand that you have the power to choose.
"Evening session" involves: 
     ─ having you reconvene to talk about your breakthroughs
     ─ having you commit to yourself and this transformation as a way of life
     ─ having you build up confidence to work around obstacles

Huh. All of this seems familiar.

I think I learnt all of this in church, from my grandparents, and a few youth conferences. Then, as I got older, it was reiterated in philosophy, psychology, and even in leadership seminars. We definitely covered it in the military more than a few times.

The others in this group did not seem to have the same sort of upbringing as I did. I know three of them personally, and I know they have never picked up any sort of philosophy or leadership book in their lives. I think one of them took a psychology course as part of their uni marketing programme.

This sort of thing is not for me. I learnt how to integrate this sort of knowledge well before I went through the psychotic phases of puberty, and really began to understand the finer points while learning to lead this or that, military or civilian.

I'm glad these sorts of things exist in the world for those that never got this sort of upbringing and real life skills. They have their place, and I'm glad to see people getting value out of it since their families, communities, and educational systems clearly failed them while they were children. 

The one thing they need, though, is an action plan. If my colleagues are any indication of what may happen, it'll kick open a lot of doors, but then they will be left standing there wondering what to do next. As it happens, they are just talking about the feels and seeing how things could be different.