Episode 1: Attention: Incoming Cancer!
You were warned!
Growing up, many of us enjoyed the comforts of the first ever fully-CGI half hour long cartoon, Reboot. Tagging along with Enzo, Dot and Bob on cooky episodic adventures around Mainframe, and battling the evil Megabyte and his twisted sister Hexadecimal.
Two parts fun, one part a guide to everything computer, Reboot helped us learn about what happens inside our Hard Drive, CPU and the net in general.
But since it's #2018, it's time to ruin it, cause that's what Hollywood does.
take a cast of diversity hires, throw originality to the wind and over-fucking-use the Reboot logo EVERYWHERE.
Enter "Reboot: The Guardian Code" a series so bad it scored LOWER than Tommy Wiseau's The Room. And just when we thought that was the worst thing in all creation.
Four American "high school teenagers" play a game called Reboot, stumble upon a secret lair under their school, get super suits are "the chosen ones" to fight the forces of darkness. It's basically Power Rangers with worse production values, Hulu's Future Man" with a shitty and plot-hole filled script written by a 5year-old, lesser quality special effects, a villain who's straight out of CSI: Cyber and set pieces that look like they were scavenged from the destroyed sets of The Flash. With a cast so unqualified to act that it makes one watching physically ill. And here I thought it was my mom's child making me gassy.
The super-suits the team wear look like a cross between the bulkiness of the original Hack and Slash designs, and the suits from Crysis. Just like the complete disarray that is Nissan Juke, the suits can't quite decide if they want to be big and bulky or streamlined and form-fitting.
The main villain, Megabyte, a scary robotic virus terrorizing the net in the original series is now nothing more than a sociopathic computer hacker based in an abandoned warehouse, wearing a black hoodie with dirty fingernails. I'm sorry, but in my experience a computer hacker uses a keyboard. Why are his hails dirty with black mud? Is he gardening in his free time? WTF??!
Half-way through the first episode, there is a battle between the teenagers and the "dark code locusts" (cause saying 'bugs' or 'viruses' is not Star Wars enough), and who is it that gets mortally attacked?? Is it the girl? The black guy? How bout the nondescript latino guy? No!! The white guy is the first and only one to get attacked.
So of course, because they are three Gary and one Mary Sues, they master all the moves in about 2 seconds flat, defeat all the "dark code locusts" and foil Megabyte's plan in a total of 5 minutes. Then they are immediately sent back to reality.
And wouldn't you know it, as they leave the hub, a mysterious countdown reaches zero, and a person materializes inside a tube.Who is it? It's the computer avatar that grew a body for herself. Wait.. sounds like something I've seen before.. oh yeah AIDA from Marvel's Agents of SHIELD. Can this show get MORE derivative? Or you'd better believe it.
---GAME OVER---
Verdict: "My childhood was just raped"
Sentence: "Total system fragmentation!!"