30 "Secrets" Women have from Men: Rebuttal
Greetings People,
Today this blog is a rebuttal for the secrets women have from their men (or partner before you SJWs start screeching)
1. Her best friend knows everything. - See now this is something I truly dislike I mean admit it you are either on good terms with her bff and therefore all you'll get the is the occasional dig OR you are on bad terms and this means she has ammo against you to get her own way. Besides men can bet their pension that if we talked about everything to our male friends there would be some details the missus would want being kept private.
2. Just looking at your hands can turn her on. - And women say men are dirty minded.
3. When you go away, even for a day, she sleeps in your favorite old T-shirt. - One word, permission, dost thou have it?
4. She’ll never tell you exactly how many men she's slept with. - Well this one is easy since if you cannot be honest its because of shame/guilt and that will only be IF you have slept with too many men. Lesson to learn? Don't sleep around ladies.
5. She fantasized about being with you at least a dozen times before it actually happened. - See now the cynic in me tells me that it isn't true because it is more about the money you'll spend on her.
6. She has Googled your exes. - Well again easy one, tit for tat, if you wouldn't like it done to you, don't do it to us.
7. When she's falling in love with you, she completely loses her appetite. - So if she is scoffing her face often then thats a clue to broaden our horizons?
8. Her body really isn’t naturally this hairless and smooth all over. - For shits sake we know that but here is the thing, there is a difference between tame and wilderness. Most guys don't want to conquer the rainforest to find el dorado if you catch my drift. Besides if you have a problem with hair in your mouth during a bj try imagining the male frustration when you ask him to kiss you where wilderness grows.
9. She only appears to have it all together. - So.......we should prepare to handle a lot of shit she isn't prepared for?
10. She still thinks about her ex-boyfriends and compares them to you. - Again I refer to point 6, if you don't like that being done to you ladies don't do it to guys.
11. She has discovered your porn stash and your frequently visited porn sites. - If this isn't proof that guys have ZERO privacy, ladies do us a favour let us have some space because we know damn well you demand space for yourselves.
12. When she says, "I'm ready," she'll need exactly 7 more minutes to get ready. - See we already knew this, hence why we are on the couch, dressed and either drinking or playing games, its called prepping in advance, if you think it will take 1 hour the guy's already worked out to add another 30 minutes.
13. When she says, "I'll meet you in 15 minutes," she means she will leave in 15 minutes. - Now this is called rude, remember ladies if you don't like it done to you, don't do it to the guy, its called decency.
14. You’ve made her cry more times than you’ll ever know. - With sorrow or joy? Context matters
15. She obsesses about when you’re going to call her again. - Okay here is a tip ladies, a guy will always return to claim a decent prize. Make the effort, be yourself and IF it works out then you won't be waiting long for that call.
16. She wants you to talk a little dirty. - Yeah but to what degree, I mean really people are we back to the "You dirty bitch" level of dirty talk or are you just meaning you want us quoting 50 Shades.
17. At the beginning of your relationship, she saves all of your voice mails and listens to them (and make her friends listen, too), repeatedly. - And then came the internet so voicemails are dwindling.
18. She might wear granny underwear and purposely not shave her legs because she likes you. - No, this isn't proof you like the guy, this is proof you feel you've bagged the guy. Men are visual creatures we do go by what we see and if you don't make an effort why should he?
19. She split the cost of her fashion purchases over two or more credit cards. - Now this one raises alarm bells as this hints soon-to-be help with credit card debt conversations.
20. She's constantly testing you. - I refer you to point 6 & 10. Reverse the scenario then ask yourself if you don't want to be tested don't test him.
21. She checks out your butt every time you leave the room. - As long as we can do the same, then all good.
22. She needs constant indications that you want her around. - See this borders on attention seeking attitudes. I can bet that if the guy behaved this way to you, you'd call him possessive or needy.
23. She loves it when you get a little jealous.- Yeah because this reinforces her belief in her value yet if the guy is jealous it can backfire.
24. Even though she may complain that she doesn’t see you enough (or that you work too hard), she finds nothing sexier than watching you put on a suit in the morning and rush off to work. - STOP BEING SO FUCKING CONTRARY. Mixed signals are NOT a turn on.
25. She starts fights with you because she's feeling ignored.- Sometimes I don't care what someone FEELS is happening, have a legitimate reason don't just assume.
26. Even if she insists on paying or splitting the bill on your first date, she’ll think you're cheap if you let her. - Two words: Equality bitch. If this is really how you are going to act on the first date what do you think it tells the guy.
27. She may find your best friend repulsive, but she's fantasized about sleeping with him. - Well that will encourage some paranoia won't it
28. If she's going to break up with you, all of her friends know way before you do. - Leading to the position that you are lying to him in the run up to the actual break up.
29. When you and her do break up, she'll put all photographs of you and mementos of your relationship in a shoe box and store it in her closet. - Well if you broke up with him don't expect him to run back to you, heaven knows I'LL pin him down and remind him to have some self respect.
30. She wants you to take control in bed. (Yes, she has a successful career, she's financially independent, she lives on her own, and she doesn’t need a man to make her happy (in theory). She still wants you to pick her up, carry her to the bedroom, and take without asking.) - Two words: Regret Rape. Ain't going to happen anymore, no man is going to risk getting accused of rape.