Deathwish, Part 2: Deal With a Vorpal

Part 1: Cinderfell

Alicia rushed along the pale rainbow tinted bridge. It looked like it extended into infinity, but she knew that was only an illusion. As long as you walked far enough, you would reach the edge of the darkness. Where the bridge met solid land was where the Inverse actually began.

Despite being on a bridge like this once before and walking down it in the opposite direction towards a Gateway, she began to feel worried. It seemed to be taking a lot longer to reach the end than she remembered. But after storming the gate and running like she did, she didn’t have much choice other than to keep walking. Going back now would be admitting defeat, and she didn’t know how she would be able to face anyone after that.

What felt like many hours later, Alicia spotted the end of the bridge appear. Her heart stopped when she saw sand.

The Gateway she came back through previously was the one in Colossus. She was then transported from Colossus to Cinderfell, via more conventional means in the real world. She had not known the bridge from Cinderfell, however, led to an expanse of sand. The last time she was in any sort of desert in the Inverse, a terrible monster had attacked her. If this desert had the same monster, she likely wouldn’t be able to escape it without help from someone like Dapper.

She sharply inhaled, and stepped onto the sand. She couldn’t let herself be scared away by whatever might happen. The Inverse was full of danger, and she couldn’t begin to hope that all hazards could be avoided entirely. She needed to face them and learn how to deal with them. The sand shifted under each step, and she noted that sandals were a good choice for the start of this journey at least. She would be spending a lot less time getting sand out of her footwear.

Alicia suddenly felt someone standing behind her. She spun around, but no one was there. She called out, but no one answered. She continued walking, and got the feeling again. This time she kept walking, but then stopped. After several moments, she could hear muffled footsteps. Turning around, she saw someone. A tall female Vorpal, one yellow eye with jewelry on all of her four arms. She had slightly tanned skin, and Alicia noted that she also had long black hair. She couldn’t remember the Vorpal’s appearance perfectly, especially the hair, but everything she could remember matched. It could be none other than Oracle.

The Vorpal spoke first. “Hmm… what is this? Your name… Alicia?”

Alicia was shocked. “Oracle? You… remember my name?”

“No… I’m a prophet of sorts. I see things you can’t fathom, and fathom things you will never see. Have we met before, though? You seem to believe we have…”

“Yes! I met you many years ago, with a Vorpal named Dapper. Maybe you can help me find him?”

Oracle walked up, and without any warning grabbed Alicia by the neck, lifting her to eye level as Alicia kicked and struggled. Alicia was completely caught off guard, not expecting this from the usually calm Oracle. “Help you? Why the rift would I ever do such a horrendous thing?”

Alicia coughed out the words as quickly as she could. “Because… I have a deal to make… I will…”

Oracle dropped Alicia roughly to the sand where she caught her breath before continuing. “I… I will take one Vorpal back with me, through the Gateway. The only condition I have is that the Vorpal I take can only be Dapper.”

Alicia was met with a skeptical look from Oracle. “Really? What are you getting out of this arrangement, then? I know how treacherous you humans can be, and I don’t believe for one second you wish to ally with us. Unless, of course…”

Oracle extended one of her arms into a long slender point, aiming it directly at Alicia’s heart. “You wish to join us completely.”

Alicia tried to remain calm, reciting her own theorems in her head. Vorpals can be reasoned with. Be honest, be respectful. And above all, don’t panic. “All I wish is to study Vorpals. Meanwhile, you Vorpals want to have as much chance to… kill people in the, er, Outverse as possible. Dapper would have plenty of opportunity to do that. Though… I admit, I will be asking him to only kill people who deserve it. Not all humans are bad.” Despite what everyone else might say about all Vorpals, Alicia firmly believed Dapper wouldn’t actually hurt anyone if asked nicely.

Oracle gave a slight smile. “You think Dapper will follow your orders? That’s… laughable, to say the very least. But I accept your offer, no matter what you might think of Dapper. So, what do you require from me, then?”

Alicia could hardly believe it was that simple after Oracle was prepared to kill her moments ago. But she also knew this type of behavior was considered standard for Vorpals. “I just need to find Dapper. I also plan on exploring the Inverse for a short while with him before heading back, but I promise to smuggle him through the Gateway. Do you know where he is?”

Oracle scoffed. “Vorpals don’t keep track of each other’s whereabouts. But, as luck would have it, I have exactly what you need…”

She made several symmetric gestures with all four of her arms, then cupped two of her hands together as a puff of black smoke materialized a small device into them. Oracle gently handed it to Alicia, revealing it as a compass. Oracle gave the exposed compass needle a spin, and it locked on to a specific direction. “This will lead you directly to Dapper. That should be all you need. Goodbye.”

Alicia called out to Oracle as she had already turned to walk away. “Wait! Why don’t you travel with me? We can talk, and-”

Oracle shot Alicia a dirty look. “Does a human really wish to speak with me, a Vorpal?”

“Yes! I want to learn more!”

“...So you humans can better wage war against us?”

“No! I want to have both Vorpals and humans understand each other and get along! This is just the first step of that! Besides, you don’t need to tell me anything you don’t want to…”

Oracle stared at Alicia for a long time, before her contempt melted away to ambivalence. “You are very, very… odd. I can’t believe you are truly earnest in that statement, and yet my future sight has never been wrong before. I wish I could tell you whether you eventually fail or succeed, but… either it happens too far in the future, or it isn’t as simple as just failure or success. Or maybe it’s simply one of those things I can’t see, like Dapper’s intentions… fine. I will travel with you, at least until you find Dapper.”

They began walking, Alicia paying close attention to the compass. Despite not changing direction, the compass seemed to continually drift to the left. “Is Dapper moving around?”

“He’s probably on a different ring.”

Alicia looked at Oracle. “A different… ring?”

Oracle appeared to realize what she said, and refused to explain as she instead attempted to change the subject. “It’s nothing, forget I said anything… by the way, why are you set on finding Dapper specifically? He’s no more friendly to humans than any other Vorpal. In fact, he could be considered one of the more vicious Vorpal warriors.”

“He helped me the last time I was here. I just want to see him again and catch up, find out what he has been up to. Maybe tell him what I’ve been doing since I last saw him.”

Oracle rolled her eye. “You say that he helped you, but I don’t know if I really believe that… What might possess him to help a human is beyond me.”

“You helped me too, actually. You gave me this cloak, though it was a dress at the time. I hope you don’t find it insulting I re-purposed it…”

Oracle stopped, leaning down to feel the fabric of the cloak, her eye growing wide with realization. “Yes, what you say seems to be true… I did make this. Why would I…”

Oracle stood back up, and both kept walking. Oracle mused for several moments before responding. “I think there might be something different about you, Alicia. Maybe you aren’t like every other human, with their lies, treachery, and brutality. Maybe you can be… reformed.”

Alicia didn’t like the tone of that comment. It felt like Oracle was again considering killing her to make a new Vorpal. Looking to distract her, Alicia decided now was as good a time as any to attempt learning new things about Oracle. “Um, thanks… I guess. Do you mind if I ask you some personal questions, though?”

“…I will allow it.”

“What is your favorite color?”

Oracle gave Alicia a more amused expression. “I like yellow quite a lot. Especially gold yellow.”

Alicia produced a notebook from her bag and began taking notes. “Ok… what about a favorite food?”

“Whoa, hang on. Let me ask you questions as well if you wish to try to interrogate me like this. What is YOUR favorite color?”

Alicia didn’t see the point in answering such questions when Oracle would likely forget in a couple days, but answered anyways. “Mine is cobalt blue. So, care to share your favorite food?”

“Ek-gnar salad.”

Alicia fumbled with her pen. “Uh… I’m sorry, can you spell that as well as explain what it is? Or at least what it looks like?”

Oracle stared at Alicia in disbelief. “You mean to tell me you’ve never had an ek-gnar salad?”

“No, I’ve never even heard of it. My studies suggest Vorpals and humans have vaguely similar dietary requirements, but vastly different available kinds of food.”

Oracle seemed absolutely stunned at this revelation, now engrossed in the conversation. “So… what do you humans eat?”

Alicia pulled a pre-made sandwich out of her bag, made with two rough cut slices of bread, simple lunch meats, and some cheese. She handed it to Oracle, who inspected it with wonder in her eye. “Amazing… I’ve never seen such a creation as this. Do you mind if I… try it?”

“Go ahead. I don’t know if you will like it, though… Vorpal and human food is very different.”

Oracle took a tentative bite, and chewed for a moment before swallowing. She handed back the half eaten sandwich, looking not displeased but rather confused. “It’s… very unlike anything I’ve tried before, I can tell you that. Are these… things, an acquired taste?”

“We call them sandwiches, and they probably are an acquired taste for Vorpals. Anyways, here’s a different question: do you have any hobbies?”

Oracle scratched her head, thinking for a moment. “Hobbies?”

“You know, things you do when you don’t have anything else to do.”

“Things to do… when you don’t have… things to… do?”

“...it sounds weird when you put it like that. I mean, things you do for fun? Like gardening?”

“Oh, gardening! Yes, I do that occasionally, but not because it is this hobby task you refer to.”

Alicia continued to struggle at getting Oracle to understand what a hobby was. “It is a hobby if you aren’t required to do it, and you enjoy it.”

“Vorpals always enjoy everything they do. Otherwise they must be altered by a Cagemaster, as they are not functioning properly.”

Alicia stopped in her tracks, feeling like she had just learned something incredibly important. “Cagemaster?”

Before Oracle and Alicia could continue their conversation, Oracle pointed out a city that had just come into view as the sand was just transitioning to packed dirt in front of them. “It appears that we have reached Calmsquare. I know Dapper frequents this place, so this is likely where he is. It shouldn’t take us long to find him.”



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