The legend of the chronicles of the lord of the "generic fantasy realm name."
Warning: Political Jokes Inside. I take no responsibility for any hurt feelings.
"Is there anything better than drinking an ice-cold slushie on a hot summer day in the park?" Yayo wondered slurping her cherry flavoured slushie. "How about drinking a slushie with a flavour I actually like." she answered her own question, throwing the slushie on the ground. "You are everything wrong with america." a voice shrieked from behind the bench Yayo was sitting on. "That can't be," Yayo replied without turning around, "I am not voting Democrat." The voice went into full on rage mode and started to evacuate verbal diarrhoea. The only thing Yayo could think of at the moment was, why is the cherry slushie insulting her. "Nevermind." she thought. Yayo had no time listening to the problems of a cherry slushie, especially one laying on the ground. Now, if the slushie had been cola or even orange she would have listened, but cherry...no, that was just beneath her dignity. Cherry. Yayo threw the word around in her head. Her eyes narrowed, her retarded smile turned into a even more retarded one. The raging voice from before was still raging. Raging about some stuff Yayo did not care about. So Yayo threw her cherry slushie into the direction of the voice. "You," Yayo shouted, "shut up. I can't think because of you. You are now no longer part of this story."
Yayo is a truly odd fellow. Besides her relatively small and short size, she has problems focusing and taking things seriously. Last week, during a wedding ceremony Yayo accidentally stumbled into, she took the priests "Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace" as a challenge and decided to fillibust the wedding by reciting the entire works of William Shakespeare. Nobody could stop her, because Yayo just can't be stopped. Since then she has been banned at weddings. "Partypoopers." she muttered to herself reminiscing of that day. There was one thing Yayo was definitely proud of. She prevented that priest from molesting any children for 24 hours. Marriage, Yayo thought, was something completely useless. What else does it give you other than tax breaks? Yayo paused in her tracks to think about it. After a few minutes she decided to call it quits and pulled out her mobile phone to call god. Yayo had problems getting god on the phone these days. Ever since she broke gods plague machine they haven't been on best of terms. Because Yayo had to improvise most of the plagues, the results were rather lacking. Instead of sharks infesting the waters it were frogs, the killer birds were replaced by locusts and the drought took a lot longer to come over Egypt. It turns out, using walmart hair dryers isn't the best way to deliver gods wrath. As expected god did not answer.
Yayo liked walking through this park. It always gave her good opportunities to observe human behaviour. She mostly stayed on the stone paths though. The risk of walking into dog shit are too high on the grass. If she walks into doo doo, it would mean she would have to wash her entire leg. In the words of the great Shen Bapiro: Poop does not care about your cleanliness; or something like that.