Christ Vs Squirrels

*Some* days I feel like I'm just passing time, waiting for this world to end, and really, that's sad. Given the fullness and great joy that exists in abiding in Christ, that, too often, I find myself running from; quietly slipping away until I become once again so miserable within myself. Yet His cords of loving kindness draw me back and I wonder "how long, oh Lord" must I struggle with this mess of myself. Waiting for some *thing* big enough to happen to break us (me) out of this vulgar vanity, common complacency and shiny snares, that so easily and often beset us.

I take great comfort in Psalm 103 vs 13:14 Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him. For He knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust. Basically, we suck in our utter failings, but in His great compassion and lovingkindness, He has mercy upon us. He is the author and *finisher* of our faith.

Those passages, and others, have saved my life more than once. It is His work, not of ourselves, so that no man can boast. I do not want to neglect that great and awesome call to be as a 'wise virgin' (Matthew 25). I do not want to be found lacking, but instead to be His vessel overflowing with His spirit; to have light in the midst of whatever darkness there is to come, and already is.

As fearful as the parable of the 10 virgins is, there is something comforting within that passage. They all fell asleep. Every single one of them; but the wise ones, they were still ready, even tho they had fallen asleep. These are the ones that have great joy and boldness at His coming. I imagine because, well...they *know* Him. I want to be counted as one of them. In this is no fear nor instinct to go hide under a rock at the coming of the Bridegroom. They have great joy.

We live in a culture of squirrels, distractions everywhere. It is a culture that we have found ourselves born into, for such a time as this. I remember as a young girl, I loved to read the bio's of great missionaries in far off, dangerous places. I wanted to be one of them. So sold out that my life meant nothing, but Jesus everything. They faced life and death battles and great persecution. They were the spiritual giants to me, so to speak. As I got older, I remember one day, the Lord gently rebuking me. It is hard for me to articulate what I sensed Him telling me, but He was showing me, how I was making an idol of those men/woman (not as in discounting their lives) but that the dangers we face here...in our 'safe' society, they are just as dangerous, just in a different ways, more subtle ways. Pressures to be conformed to the image of this world and many are they who are bound up in it. Yet, He showed me 'spiritual giants' coming out of OUR culture. Breaking out of the apathy, the complacency and the attraction of lifeless entertainment and they great void. These are the ones that escape the trappings of this world.

There are many many things I am so, so very grateful for here, and I do not mean to seem ungrateful. I thank God for them often, knowing, one day those things may be cut off; but regardless, without Christ in the midst, it is all vanity and meaningless. Now all these years later, my foundation is more sure, not so easily shaken, having grown in Him, yet...there is still a long way to go. Deep calls unto deep (Psalm 42) and sometimes my deep seems pretty shallow, lost under the wreckage of debris, yet it is still there, because He is faithful. This says it better than I can:

"Deep calleth unto deep. What's that? Why, it is expressed in the verse before: "O God," says he, "my soul is cast down within me." "Down," that is deep into the jaws of distrust and fear. And, Lord, my soul in this depth of sorrow, calls for help to thy depth of mercy. For though I am sinking and going down, yet not so low but that thy mercy is yet underneath me. Do, of thy compassions, open those everlasting arms, and catch him that has no help or stay in himself. For so it is with one that is falling into a well or a dungeon."

John Bunion

In His grace, our awesome and wonderful father, He understands the multitude of our distractions, and pities us. Even tho He hates these things with a jealous hatred, He still loves us and is still there calling, knocking. Let us seek Him while He may be found (Isa 55:6). Let us not cheapen grace.

I fear we are a junk food culture, myself a part of it, desiring not to be. I'm not speaking of physical junk food, yet we love that too, but often spiritually, looking for the next shiny object or new thing, when Jesus IS the new thing, and *all* richness and fullness is found in Him and Him alone. I fear we are a culture that is addicted to hype and the sensational, sometimes running right past Jesus in our busyness to 'find' Him or to find *something* to satisfy the craving of our soul, instead of just being *with* Him, sitting *with* Him. Beholding Him. Be still and know that I am God, He says (Ps 46:10). I love that one. It helped bring calm to the many crashing waves and storms of my mind, many years ago... yet too often I still find my flesh running off, yet He is still saying:

Isa 55 1-3 Come, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.2 Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? and your labour for that which satisfieth not? hearken diligently unto me, and eat ye that which is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness.3 Incline your ear, and come unto me: hear, and your soul shall live; and I will make an everlasting covenant with you, even the sure mercies of David.

Jesus is our everlasting covenant and our way of escape, in all things, including the wretchedness of our souls, so that we can become evermore transformed into the fullness of His image. That is something to rejoice about. It is not easy to die to oneself. Actually, it is impossible for man, but by His equipping, by His spirit we can, which can only come through abiding. The very thing we so seek after is found in death, (death to ourselves, dead to sin) and that is not the end of the story, for then comes life and life more abundant, for we are risen in and with Him. John 12:24 and Luke 17:33.

I pray *now*, not when it's too late, to be found worthy to escape *all* these things that are coming (and in many ways already are) to the world, such as Matthew 24:12 And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold. To endure to the end. To walk out Ps 91, not by my righteousness but His within me.

Luke 21:36 36 Watch ye therefore, and pray always, that ye may be accounted worthy to escape all these things that shall come to pass, and to stand before the Son of man.

It does not need to be about doom and gloom for us His saints. I believe He is preparing His people for an awesome and great adventure in Him, more than we have known thus far, but let us be found ready and not put off our first love, and the oil we need for our light to be that light in a world covered in darkness.

If you do find yourself cold and hard of heart sometimes or even a lot of the time, don't despair in yourself, take it to The Father, always. Sometimes, when I find myself in that state, I tell myself it's better than being lukewarm, because in the midst of a trying walk of faith at times, I need to laugh at myself, remembering that we can't 'will' ourselves to repent or to be soft, we can only confess it to Him and put our trust in Him to save us from ourselves. For it is the *kindness* of the Lord that leads to repentance. By His spirit, not our own self will. We need to avail ourselves to Him, say yes, and let Him do the work in us, by His spirit. He sees and hears the wrestling of our hearts to put off our dead corpse and walk in life and abundant life at that. If it is the desire of your heart to be a wise virgin, in the midst of squirrels, put your trust in Him, for He is faithful to walk us through every dark dungeon of our hearts and every distracting thing into the very brightness of Himself.

Psalm 37:4 Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

'Summer' is coming and Fullness *has* come and *is* coming, so let us be found ready to walk in it and rejoice in Him always. His joy is our strength.

From Stuff On My Mind April 2014

Renee Jo